Anger – Bitterness – Forgiveness

We need to accept, forgive and become reconciled with life, with our fellow humans and ourselves.

To forgive does definitely not imply that we should diminish and humiliate ourselves. In the Swedish language the word forgive is ”förlåta”. It is imported from the German word ”verlassen”. But in the German language ”verlassen” means ”to leave something”. To leave and go on with life, that is the secret.

We need to forgive, to leave, all the painful experiences that life has brought us. We don’t have to accept them as something positive, but we need to understand that they now are behind us. The only way in which the past can reach us, and affect us, is when we keep it alive in the mind. Wounds give scars but do not have to remain open. So do not dwell on your past, nor on what your actual situation will make of the future. You actually can’t know yet. Observe and experience what is happening just now, but do not blame the past or reach definite conclusions for the future. The importance you give to suffering in your past, or in your present situation, will determine your mental and physical reactions now and in the future!

This is called atonement!

We need to forgive our fellow humans

by understanding that agressiveness in them has its ground in anxiety and fear, just as it has in us. Fear stimulates our genetic instinct for survival. In some of us this will lead to fight, in others to flight.

Do not judge or you will create images of threat and fear in yourself!

We need to accept and forgive ourselves.

Why? Because our mental images will be reflected in the world around us. We project them outwards and will then be influenced by what we see. And if we become afraid of ourselves we will also be afraid of others. If we judge ourselves too hard we will direct our disapproval outwards. As a consequence our reactions will constitute a threat to others who in their turn get scared into taking defensive positions and will perhaps attack. And so we will feel threatened again and our mental stress is increasing which stimulates our own defence mechanisms. A vicious circle has started once again. In the long run will also this will have harmful effects on body and mind.

People will treat you as you treat yourself!

Wayne W. Dyer has in one of his books given a parable on what will happen if you have been bitten by a poisonous snake. There are two causes of pain. One is the bite itself which can’t be undone. You were bitten and it hurt and you have marks after the vipers bite. And so you learn to avoid vipers in the future.

The other cause of pain is the poison which now is spreading in you. That is the killer! Usually no one will die of the bite itself. It is the chock after the bite, when the poison is spreading through the body, that is the killing factor. The same is true for fear and hate. Something unfortunate has happened. It can’t be undone in your physical world. But wounds can heal and situations can change. The factor which then for long times can injure your systems will instead be your anger and your hate which remain in you long after the initial damage is overcome. Only you have the ability to drive out this mental poison from your mind. Remember the words of Buddha: ”You will not be punished for your anger, your anger will punish you”.