The art of resisting

Soulsaving techniques för uncomfortable encounters

Preparations

Lower your level of stress

Inner concentration

Distraction – Relaxation

Visualisation of a positive self-image

Give yourself

the right to have an own personality,

the right to have your own views and be heard,

the right to be met with respect.

But also

visualise goodness and humanity in them you are going to meet,

visualise positive aspects in them,

try to understand their defence-mechanisms.

Visualise the meeting itself

What is it really about? What is the real issue?

Remind yourself of this again and again.

Look at your negative expections regarding the upcoming meeting

What is the worst that could  happen?

Visualise how you could handle this situation in a positive way.

Visualise again and again that failures do not exist.

Only learning makes us more competent to handle future difficult situations.

The actual meeting

Your mental attitude

Be proud because you are human!

Be humble because you are human!

Be aware of the goodness in you and see others from this center.

Understand that those you meet are also humans and have their own fears.

Decide not to respond to aggression with the same force. Use the Aikido principle and move with the force aimed at you. Turn it in another direction or let the opponent trip herself. Otherwise you will lose much of your own energy.

Body posture

Sitt, stand and walk with dignity.

Be aware of your body posture:

how you hold your arms and hands,

how you place your legs and feet.

Be aware of your breath, of your spech, of your eyes

and control them if necessary.

Communication

Let your body posture speak of respect both for yourself and for others.

Do’nt speak fast, but speak loud enough so that everyone can hear you. Do’nt hide behind a low voice and vague speech. Do’nt say more than necessary!

Look steadily in the eyes of the person you are talking with. Do’nt let her interrupt you all the time but ask respectfully and determined to be heared out.

Let the other person have her say. Meanwhile you sit in a relaxed but dignified body posture, listening to her and at the same time looking into her eyes. Do’nt look away, even if you feel nervous or afraid.

Make a pause before you answer. I does’nt matter if it feels long. You can think of how you could answer but you can also just be quiet and controle your outer and inner posture. This will give you a better mental balance but will often create some unbalance in a person who is attacking you.

Resist attempts to lead you away from the actual issue and to your personal qualities! Let the other one make her digressions but do’nt respond to them. Be persistent in going back to the actual issue.

Do not defend yourself but go every time back to the actual issue!! If you accept to discuss your personal qualities the actual issue will be definetely be lost.

Realize that nervousness and fear can hide in many different forms. Show understanding and sympathy both for yourself and for those you meet.