Assess your life situation

Stressors activating our mental and physical systems have, until now, in developed countries more often been caused by social situations and by personal mental concepts than by physical factors in the outer world or threatening predators. Climate changes, which now threaten us, will change this för many people. But the personal significance we give to various situations in life will of course still determine our own mental levels of stress. As a natural consequence of this our physical stress mechanisms are also affected. Strangely enough has a psycho-physical approch to human stress reactions not been taken into serious account by many people. Maybe this has to do with idealized moral models on human behavior which characterize different cultures. We can learn to behave in certain ways but we can still not turn off basic genetic survival programs. As moral teachings usually are focused on conscious behavior, clashes beween social demands and automatic survival functions will arise in our minds. If we make an idealistic moral image our own, and do not understand how we actually function, we will in many instances feel that we are not up to the demands of society or to the appraisal of others. Feelings of self-incrimination, of guilt and of inferiority are born out of this. These feelings are significant stressors which we very often try to avoid by locating their origin outside ourselves, wether this is true or not. 

Of course there are a lot of realistic situations in the outer world which trigger our stress systems. But the load these stressors place on our life-systems is very much dependent on the importance we give situations and happenings outside ourselves, whether they belong to the past, are in the present or in our image of the future. The more our thoughts and feelings are influenced by images of threat, the more our mental stress levels will rise. And this will to a great deal determine how we act in relation to others and in society. A large dose of self-knowledge and diplomatic action will very often be necessary to minimize unwanted repercussions which again will act as stressors on us.

It is worth remembering that we do not apply the same ethical and moral standards of behavior to animals. As they probably not are equipped with a pronounced ability to feel guilt they will of course escape negative effects of homemade inner stressors. Exceptions to this are perhaps some domestic animals who are facing demands from their owners. So we accept that wild animals behave exactly as they feel but we do not accept easily that we also are equipped with almost the same genetic and physiologic life-saving programs.

As opposed to the animal world, standards of moral are very often used as instruments of power in the human world. Fear and guilt are strong incentives. Of course we should build our societies, and our lives, on solid ethic and moral foundations. Anything else would be to deny and downgrade our humanity. But pronounced rules of moral behavior should not be so demanding that we again and again are forced to experience that we unwillingly violate these rules, in spite of our efforts to act as good and useful persons.

So, if we want to trace the triggers of our own stress reactions it is not enough to analyse the outer life situation and seek the roots of heightened stress only there. We have to go inwards and, as far as possible and in a sympathetic way, get to know ourselves. This inner journey may be pretty much uncomfortable when we come across thoughts and reactions which we don’t accept easily for ourselves. But without combining a survey of the outer situation with a, preferably as keen, survey of the inner situation, there is a pronounced risk of misjudging the causes of our stress.

This is of course a dilemma for professional helpers. It is possible for another person to see and understand external factors and situations which could be causes of heightened stress. Maybe the helper also can recognize some inner stress-rising factors to a certain extend. But the deeper roots of my frustration, my anger, my disappointment, my sorrow and fear, can only I myself know. Usually we are not familiar with the deeper levels of our minds, or we try not to see them. And a large number of hidden sentiments and feelings do hurt. Especially if we harbor idealistic ideas on how we should feel and react and have to recognise that we have failed. So we instinctively look for less painful reasons why we feel bad.

It is therefore a matter of crucial importance to analyse the location of harmful stressors, whether they are in me or outside myself, and understand their significance. It is equally important to understand, and accept, that mental processes are not only acting synergistic with our body systems, but also are inextricably connected to the outer world. We affect it and it affects us.

When we are trying to understand our own stress situation, and how it came to life, we may discover that it originally started in quite another physical, mental or social system than the one we feel is most cumbersome to us just now. An annoying partner can, for example, badly affect emotional life. This will be a threat to our deepest need of security and may show up as feelings of anger, sorrow or resignation. But this reaction will be stronger and more easily triggered if we, for example, still harbor similar feelings from an unpleasant childhood. Independent of the origin of threat the fight-or-flight mechanism will start and the production of stress hormones will rise. This could eventually result in muscular pain or high blood pressure. If these diseases worsen they may cause incapacity for work followed by economic difficulties. Anxiety for economic survival will then become the most obvious stressor, even if the heightened stress level started in the field of relations. Economics may perhaps improve. The total impact of stressors will then be weaker. But if my feelings for past or current unsatisfactory relations don’t improve this stressor will remain, threatening my integrity and my need for security. If so, there will be no guarantee that my muscles heal or that my blood pressure returns to normal, in spite of better economics. The original stressors are still there. And if other stressors of any kind arise, the viscious feed-back circles of stress will of course become more active again. In the long run this will make it hard to maintain balance in health and social life.

It is consequently the sum of stressors acting on mind and body, as well as a prolonged time of interference, which determines if stress-related illness and disease will emerge. The more stressors, the stronger they are and the longer they affect our systems, the more will they weaken the resistance of our mental and physical life systems. In the long run we risk to suffer from a diminished general tolerance to stress wich, in the worst case, will be chronic.

Self-maintaining circles of stress can have their roots in one, or several, of our life systems. Physical illness, strain in personal relations, the load of dayly work, poor economy, and climate changes today, belong to the most common causes. That is why a general analysis of existing stressors is so very important in understanding what kind of stressors there are, and which of them are most prominent, in our own life situation. Without such an analysis it would be very difficult to act on different stressors in the right order.

Professionals and friends can of course help us to identify those of our stressors which are most visible to them. Naturally this will help to a certain extend. Still it is important to form an own opinion of our life-situation. So we need to look into ourselves in an objective way. This observing of ourselves is not easy when mental weariness and fatigue dominate the picture. It is usually difficult to focus on anything long enough. Sentiments of different kinds rage inside together with feelings of exhaustion. In this situation it is not easy to make objective assessments of the own mind and it takes time to reach a fairly realistic view of the stress situation. So, in order to do this we must lower our level of stress before it is possible to identify what lies deep within us. Here limitations of activities in daily life can help as well as relaxation practices, meditation and other techniques leading to rest and inner calm. Doing this regularly for some time will lead to better mental composure and less body symptoms. A spontaneous side effect of these practices will be a deepened insight into ourselves and our life situation. The normally opaque wall between mental awareness and the subconscious mind will become more transparent and this gives us the possibility to explore and identify our inner world of thoughts and feelings in a more structured way.